Vancouver

If you are new to this blog, welcome! Today begins a new chapter in the crazy journey of my life - I'm moving to one of the poorest areas of North America: East Hastings, Vancouver, BC, Canada. Today I went and met with Gordon, my mentor, and checked out the room where I will be saying, just around the corner from the infamous Pigeon Park. Fortunately this trip relieved a lot of the fears that had been building up in my head over the past couple of days.

First, the room that I am staying in has a bathroom (with shower!), a washer and dryer, AND a kitchen. The tradeoff is that my bed'room' is behind a curtain in a shared space - seldom used in the evenings and mornings, but shared nonetheless. Personally, I couldn't be happier with this arrangement - it seems like the perfect mix of independent and communal living. Of course, only time will tell how this will really play out, but for now it looks as grand to me as a 5-star resort.

Second, the people are as cool as I remember. Gordon is a great absent-minded professor type. He's visionary, intelligent, and always thinking about eight things at once. Fortunately for him (and me) his daughter runs the business end of the operation, and makes sure all the details fit where they are supposed to.

Third, East Hastings has become real once more. Hastings, like most places, carries a caricature that slowly forms in one's mind. Such imaginations of places seldom resemble reality, and such is the case for Hastings. Yes, there are many people there dealing with issues far larger than you or I will ever deal with. But underneath the addiction, abuse, and pain, there are human beings begging to be treated as such and pleading to be loved. That is the true East Hastings - broken people congregating with the hope of finding some kind of escape or freedom. Is the Church really all that different?

I spent the second half of today wandering the streets of Vancouver, watching people and thinking about this city. It's been a gorgeous day for people-watching, and I'm beginning to gain a real sense of appreciation for this diverse and sometimes crazy city. If you follow this blog over the next eight months you should see three patterns emerge: My thoughts about people and systems, my learning experiences in the world of professional photography, and some thoughts on Faith and my encounters with God in the place 'where the devil lives'. I hope you'll join me.

Oh, and can someone please comment on this so I know my comments work? I haven't had any since I switched to the new host, and I'm starting to get worried that something is broken.

Swine Flu, Fear, the Future, and God.

I had a full-blown panic attack on Sunday afternoon, which lasted in varying degrees until this afternoon. All evening Sunday, and off-and-on all day Monday, I was paralyzed by fear. 

Fear is a funny thing. For me, the most recent Swine Flu scare was the tip of the iceberg - wrapped up in the fear of the Flu was my fear of death, the unknown, being completely out of control, and ultimately my fear the God will not be true to His word. I was sick to my stomach, literally, and my body refused to function normally. I spend about four hours on Sunday sitting on my porch dwelling on the fact that I have absolutely no control what happens to me tomorrow, whether I get swine flu or get nicked by a dirty needle by a tweaked out guy on Hastings. I simply do not have control.

Fear paralyzes, grips us, tortures us with unknown and only guessed-at consequences of imagined scenarios. But the Bible tells us that perfect Love (God) casts out fear; when we choose to put our trust in Him, rather than our own feeble understanding of a situation, things suddenly start looking a lot better. 

In The Shack, by William Young, the author writes about a fictitious encounter between God and a man, Mack. At one point in the story Jesus tells Mack to examine his thoughts  about the future. He explains that our human ideas about the future almost always contain a deadly flaw - we never imagine a future with God in it. We always imagine a future apart from God, as if He isn't going to be there any more. This is a lie.

Christ tells us to worry only about today, and that He, God, will take care of the future. We are not responsible for what happens tomorrow; we are only responsible for today. Today I made the choice to believe that, and to live it. I may die of Swine Flu. I may get sick on East Hastings. I may make mistakes, and everything may not work out as planned. But you know what? I'm ok with that, because God's plans are bigger and better than my plans. He holds the future, and Life is worth the living (Today) because He lives.