Week 17

Well, life in the DTES is always fluid, but it seems like every day I'm becoming more a part of the stream and less a rock stuck in the way. My bike is rolling again, I'm working more afternoon shifts, and I'm making some great new friendships, both within the DTES and outside of it.

First, a few more mundane details. One of my co-workers, Daniel, decided to head back to school this year, meaning more paid shifts opened up. This was great news for me, because it added a little more structure to my week, and it now allows me a little more responsibility than I had before. I now work Monday and Tuesday 4-12, although I usually come in closer to 2 and assist my co-worker Galina for a couple hours before I start my own shift. Wednesday and Thursday I spend on volunteer hours, usually from 9-4 or thereabouts. On these days, I will often head for lunch with one of our tenants and with my friend Andrew. Friday and Saturday I take off work, and usually split my time between biking around Vancouver and reading in the library, trying desperately to catch up on the readings I'm supposed to have finished by now (bibliographies are coming eventually Bryan, I promise!). Sunday I work again, working a split shift 12AM-8AM, and then from 8PM-12AM. Sunday afternoon I generally spend sleeping, and Sunday evening I've been attending a small baptist church on Commercial Drive.

Now, last time I sent an update I talked a little about my personal philosophy on the DTES. In the future, I will probably return to the theology and psychology required for caring for the addicted, but tonight I would like to focus on a couple of the people I have begun to get to know here, and on a little bit of their stories. I've changed some names, and others I've left the same, depending on the circumstances.


Julie is someone you would call extremely difficult to house. She is in her early 30's, and has First Nations status from a band out east, I believe Cree. She has lived in the DTES for a long time now, and is a drug addict. She also deals with deep bouts of depression, among other mental and physical health concerns. She's not capable of keeping her room clean, and also struggles with incontinence, meaning someone else needs to do her laundry for her almost every day.

I could live her there, just a bundle of problems, and not a human being, but I wouldn't be telling even close to the whole story. Despite all the difficulties that Julie has, and the hard time that she has given the staff here and even myself personally, she is also one of the kindest souls a person could meet. She loves to talk, as most people in the DTES do, and she loves to tell stories of her family and of how much she loves them. She loves to talk about her daughter, who is 13 and she is unable to see. She loves to talk about her cousins, some of whom are also in the DTES. I have, by luck and grace, become a 'little brother' to her as well, and she will often give me a hug and ask me how I'm doing when I come to do my shift at the Jubilee.

I don't know much about Julie's background, but I would bet any amount of money that her childhood was unpleasant, to put it lightly. The abuse rate among the addicted in the DTES is astronomical, and for good reason. It is not just that the drugs help people forget about the pain - that is a gross oversimplification. In reality, a lot of it has to do with brain chemistry, and the way that we have been lovingly wired by our creator to need love.

When we experience love - a hug from a close friend, and baby being held by its mother, a kind word spoken at the right time - a storm of chemical reactions takes place within our brain. Chemicals called opiates and Dopmine are released from cells, and 'grabbed' by receptors designed for that purpose. As the chemicals are grabbed by the receptors, we begin to feel the good effects of what we call love or nurturance. During the developmental years, these receptors are growing at an incredible rate, but their growth is dependent on them being used often. If a young person (say between birth and adolescence) is denied the physical closeness that he or she should have, the receptors that normally develop during that period are impaired.

Drug use simulates the brain's normal behaviour patterns and either causes the brain to overload on dopamine and other chemicals, blocks the receptors, or both. One heroin addict I read about described her first hit as 'a warm hug' - this is literally what is happening in the brain. When the receptors are impaired to begin with, the chances of addiction - artificially inducing the feelings that resemble the natural high of being loved and cared for - skyrocket.

Of course, addiction is much more complicated than that, but this is the core of it, physically, scientifically, emotionally, and spiritually - the addict is looking for exactly the same thing everyone is looking for - the feeling of being loved and accepted. If you are interested in the science of addiction, I'll probably be touching on it more in the future, but I would highly recommend 'In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction' by Dr. Gabor Mate. This book is astounding and continually blows me away with how compassionate and understandable it is. Anyone who has ever struggled with any form of addiction should read this book.

So, what is the answer for my friend Julie? Is it detox and rehab? Maybe one day. for a longtime user, her chances of getting and staying clean are slim, but they are there. But perhaps the first step is being willing to look past her dirty clothes and missing teeth, her often-grumpy exterior and her messy room, and being willing to give her a hug anyway, being willing to change her sheets yet again, being willing to clean her room for the millionth time. Showing love is not pretty, and it often does not seem practical or sometimes even helpful. But when I'm called 'little brother' and someone feels safe enough to let me hold their pet rat, I know that I am on the right path.